Saturday, December 17, 2005
[ * * W I S H L I S T * * ]
heh finally getting this up =D maybe too late? (and not as if there are alot of pple who are getting me stuff anyway..) but well, inspired by shopping the whole of today (and getting every single person on earth a present but bought NOTHING for myself =(( ).. here it goes! (in no order of preference)
1) A Hotter Body
2) No More Work (and i hear yj singing "king of wishful thinking in the bg.. -_-)
3) l'eau par kenzo edt
4) summer by kenzo edt
5) strappy gold heels to replace my current ones (which are dying..)
6) xmas dress ='( haven't been able to find one at all!!
7) jonathan strange and mr norrell by suzanne clark
8) 1421 by gavin menzies
9) super crafty! (see book here)
10) knitting books for beginners =( i'm such a loser at sewing
11) all the pretty notebooks, files, wrapping papers and boxes at prints with the flower designs
12) gucci wallet - classic range (here!!)
13) anna sui pore refiner mask cum scrub
14) purple mascara!
15) the whole getbackers manga series
16) oven so that i can bake
17) loads and loads of yummy confectionery eg cookies, savoury pies, cakes, puddings, scones, muffins... -drools-
18) garbage ver 2.0 cd (my copy is scratched so one song's spoilt)
19) any one of the 3 lifehouse cds (just for the sake owning them, cos i've already got all 3 cds' songs on my comp =)
20) paul & joe / stila makeup (only cos of the pretty packaging =pp )
10:47 PM |
0 possessed
Saturday, December 03, 2005
[ i've got friends again (FINALLY!!) =D ]
well, that was the original title of this draft, but i'm just gonna squeeze everything into this post la.. yeah i know my eyes are so blurry and dry, and behind me my watch is sounding the 3am alarm, but just feel like blogging..
daph, di and cheryl are back.. so happy that we can talk and talk abt all kinda things.. but now that the twins are staying at siglap, it's not so convenient to crash cheryl's house anymore =( missing yj.. hurry up and come back!
was thinking abt combined bday/xmas gifts for everyone.. at first, my idea was that everyone get the same boxes (like from ikea), but we each decorate it and fill it up depending on our creativity and budget, and everyone gets a box from each other person.. to reduce the disparity between budgets =p but not sure if u guys up for it, so considering whether i will be too or not.. and xmas gifts as well.. but!!! i'm so worried that my pay won't come this month cos i submitted my time sheet so so late.. haven't gotten it yet =(
i've got friends at work now.. quite suprised, considering how little i know abt how to make friends.. but well.. so happy! it's so much more fun to go out for lunch and talk and joke once in a while.. though usually i have so much work to do.. talking abt work.. such a lousy day today, really. the whole day, i've been doing stuff for other pple, getting pulled here and there, and getting scolded by audrey (my manager) for things i didn't do. previously, when the new temp came in, audrey kept scolding me for not asking the new temp to help me, so after a few scoldings, i started to pass over the work to her like A wanted me to.. then nowadays i keep getting scolded by A for passing work over to the temp.. i really don't understand. other things that she told me not o do too.. >.<
then after that.. after being pulled around. back to the same old prob. for the events coordinator (N), they got a temp (Y) to help her with her stuff and do the events for her instead of me, so i'm just supposed to help out. A also told me to pass all of N's stuff to Y to handle. but really, when N asks me to do things for her, i can't exactly tell her, "no, A told me not to do for you, pls ask Y instead" right? esp if she says it's urgent. so both sides are pulling me in opposite directions, i don't know who to follow and both just disappear when i need to consult with A. seriously, i don't mind doing for other pple. just that no matter whether i do or don't do, i will still get scolded by A. and i feel so bad whenever i have to reject other pple. so now i get mixed signals from A, i'm getting pulled here and there by pple who all just wants a part of me right there right then as if i am only doing things for one person. i'm getting pulled in different directions like a rubber band, and i really did snap. at the final point, i really ended up crying today. i just couldn't take it anymore. i was tired, dumped with a whole load of work while N and Y disappears without explaining anything to me, sick, getting all that pulling around so much that I didn't have the chance to really get down to work the whole of today. i wanted to bang my head against the wall and hope to die, cos dying is a better option compared to facing all the work and all the difficult unsolvable problems (which is why they are shoved to me in the first place). i've been taking and taking all the shit (yeah i know, so uncharacteristic of me huh), and i really can't find any vent to let it all out. so embarrassing though, some pple saw me cry.. so difficult to explain, esp since they also contributed to all the shit that made me snap.
worked till 9+ today, then went straight to siglap to meet the twins and cheryl.. so damn tired, so i decided to go home instead of staying over at di's house (feel so guilty..) erwin was just nearby at george's, so begged a lift home from him.. on the way back i snapped again. i just don't believe i get the same shit as at work in my personal life. everyone tells me diff things and as the middle person i have to make sure everyone's ok but everyone pulling in different directions. it's really not easy esp since i just broke down over the same situation at work. couldn't stop crying in the car. talked to erwin till 2am, and i guess the crying did help to relieve a bit of the stress..
i feel so troubled and confused by everything. really wanna just cry it all out and get it out of my system..
3:30 AM |
1 possessed
