+ and when the heart is set for eternity . .

> Sunday, January 18, 2009 <

+ heartache

somehow, i can kinda understand what c feels about seth now. a little, somehow.

talking to my "baby" only, one of the rare times. and i feel very.. melancholic? it's a deeper feeling than just "sad". he's grown up too fast, too early, and now he's changed. jaded, fatalistic, different. and cos he's so used to getting so much so easily, it's tinted the way he looks at things, at what's happened to him in his life. and the saddest thing is that people who are jaded are the ones who are the most resistant towards being convinced otherwise.

and now that i'm listening to him tell me about his gf, it seems like he's attracted to her cos she's how he used to be. dreamy, innocent, simple. i don't know if he realises that.

i wish i could protect him from the world, to let him be 19 and enjoy being 19, and not this seemingly 30something caught in his 19 year old body. i wish i could let him see the wonder in the world, that there are more things in store in life to be seen, and that he hasn't finished seeing the sights of life yet.

while i talk to him, i feel the heartache that my baby has flown high, and has been able to see the sad truths about life from that height, when he didn't have to. and he's got his head down, so all he can focus is all that ugliness, when there is so much beauty around and above him.

at 4:14 AM * 1 hearts dreamt

1 Comments:

hi dear!
beautiful entry :)

bought crystals today!!! will use ur crystal decorating thingo when i'm more confident not to punch holes through garments!!!!

By diana, at 10:49 PM