+ and when the heart is set for eternity . .

> Thursday, June 05, 2008 <

+ emotions

i realised that when i work, i don't have remnant energy to do anything else. for example, the tac website, testing the phpbb, buying a much-needed mouse, etcetcetc. all i want to do is go home, have dinner, and vegetate in front of the tv.

being sick makes it worse. when a person lives to eat, and is suddenly restricted in the choice of food, it aggravates the depression. there's no euphoric spike, only a flat, mundane line.

maybe it's the lack of happy-fying food and energy that i've feeling moody and emotional recently. i don't even have the mood to read, and i'm starting to hate my phone for being too noisy (it's always on silent without vibration mode. non-disruptive).

realised that i've been quite emotional the past 3 days. negative feelings towards working which stemmed from performance pressure + bad experience + personal subjectivity, FATNESS, and disappointing results. add on the fact that many people have been asking me whether i plan to join a bank after graduation (i hate questions about my future -> i have no idea. tax/banking/lawdegree/escapetojapanforayear? not having a concrete plan/answer makes me seem like the airhead.. that i am.) and i feel utterly demoralised.

at 11:07 AM * 0 hearts dreamt

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