+ and when the heart is set for eternity . .

> Thursday, August 03, 2006 <

+ all for... ?

i realised that.. i might be really going crazy. as in psychopath kinda crazy.

while i'm getting more tolerant and.. more politically correct to the pple around me, i'm also starting to fly into.. those kind of blind anger/rages with him. which is scaring me. i get so angry i can't think, i can't even breathe. kinda like having a mild asthma attack? and i really don't hold back in hitting him.. i can't think, i just know that i'm so angry, i really want to kill him.. and when i put my hands around his neck, i really do press down, and imagine how it'll kill him. but i manage to stop before i really do break his adam's apple.. so far..

he's now got scratches and probably bruises from grappling with me and cos i tried to break his hands.. during my latest blind rage

i seriously considered stabbing. now i understand why pple kill their loved ones. one, cos they really deserve it (yes, i mean it) two, in hope that the one being killed would FINALLY realise, understand, feel the pain they're going through; and three, to finally really possess the person fully. and when they finally wake up from the psychopathic fit, they kill themselves cos they can't withstand the reality. the guilt and the crime, at least.

at 2:39 AM * 0 hearts dreamt

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