> Wednesday, December 22, 2004 < 

+ what am i doing?  

ex-f came to look for me today. i was so shocked when he called me, and i tried to resist, but ended up going down. sigh. it was very sweet actually.. he bought that angel necklace again, the one that i got as xmas present last year, that i lost.. i was very touched, obviously. i'm not that hard after all.. but obviously i couldn't let him know that.. i felt so guilty abt just saying no, pretending not to care and joking when he was so sad.. he cried in front of me. but i didn't feel like i wanted him back, i was just gui;ty for making him cry. sigh. i'm evil, ain't i? gillian said i'm cruel. eric says i'm bitter. someone said i'm hard. maybe. sigh hate it.

it's 330am, and i'm on the comp. feel tired but not in the mood for sleeping. just thinking abt lotsa stuff la.. sigh. anyway. feel depressed. what am i doing, indeed.

at 3:15 AM * 0 hearts dreamt

 

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+ layout information
picture used is a scan from shinshi doumei cross, cleaned up, hued and filtered. falling leaves are from maple leaf brush. all standard use photoshop. fonts used - tahoma, porcelain, velvet.
titles were just randomly thought up from the spot due to the lack of lyrics.

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