+ and when the heart is set for eternity . .

> Friday, December 10, 2004 <

+ finally

i finally have access to a blog where i can say all i wanna say without fear of a certain ex-bf, nor certain girls.. man it's been so long since i wanted to talk abt alot stuff that i forgot what i wanted to say. i guess abt clubbing..

the first time we went it was pretty fun.. cos of ken! =) and cos it was our first time there, so it was coll and exciting. and the music was great.. of cos, time also passed very quickly, what with fab calling and smsing and calling and smsing and etc.. and me drinking more. haha oh well.. still don't believe eric so-called hit on me that night.. -_-" well ken's cool... cute.. funny.. he drives.. he's got all the correct moves.. but he doesn't like me. sigh. sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh. why is life so sad??? =(

oh yeah cheryl. forgot to tell u one more thing (no it's not abt tom, dick nor harry -_-) ken smsed me the night before prom.. which made me so happy! but all he could do was talk abt u.. so i decided to just fall asleep on him la. sigh. =( this is saddening. =(

anyway, the second time was sianing. think i was tired out from all the shopping, my feet were half-dead, the music was ok at best and positively disgusting at worst.. and there were too many pple.. but well. it was great to be with daph and di, cos they were great dancers!! it's so fun to dance with them cos they're cool and confident so some of that confidence rubbed off me.. i never thought i'd ever have the guts to dance on the podium man.. =) but sick and tired of it.. think it was lack of alcohol la.. but then got sick of the taste of alcohol too.. -_- and i still don't believe that bottle of evian costed 9 bucks. -_- i must go back on a wed and drink many free drinks to compensate my loss. =) the girl who chatted up cheryl was pretty nice.. carlyn? dunno why but i think she looks very familiar, and i'm sure it's not cos she has a common face according to cheryl.. vanessa was nice =) still feel quite guilty abt being the wet blanket and going home at 1plus.. i was feeling quite bleah too.. esp after ken's smses.. -_- and although di and i went down to dance again (with me wanting to stop thinking abt ken), it was techno crap. -_- there was a pretty cute guy with very nice eyes looking at our direction.. but he sadly remained a podium length away.. and TWO guys were looking at hot di dancing!! =) in the appraising way.. =)

have been smsing eric since sun night when i was so bored and had nothing better to do.. it's actually pretty fun la.. believe it or not i haven't had an sms conversation before.. kinda loser.. don't know where the 500 smses a month go to, judging how little i sms.. no dirt to dish, my dear muse.. he's just funny and pretty nice.. entertaining to sms la.. and i guess (if it's not too thick-skinned to say so) that he may like me? i really don't know how to read hints la for all i know he treats me like the lil sis he wanted but never had? i dunno. =( why doesn't he ask me out? i'm rotting away at home everyday facing stupid mtv and getting my brains fried by the radiation and my brain cells degenerating from all the crap that's on mtv. this sucks =( and now i finally realise how my dear cheryl uses a few thousand smses a month.. they just fly away, even faster than money (if it's actually possible) so well we'll have to see.. since ken doesn't like me, we can always try it out with eric..

prom was pretty boring. if not for all the crazy phototaking before the thing actually started, it would have been very boring. -_- ended the night on a very weird mood, thanks to fab, who will now be referred to as ex-f. he came to look for me after prom. and if u guys were wondering, the thing he got me were flowers.. which died. perfect omen. kept having to say no to him, see him so miserable (at least he didn't cry, or i'll be so embarrassed), asking to send me home (and i refused). a kiss/hug/everything else was met with a no too. duh. how can i soften now right. felt really guilty abt it, plus felt very sad that everyone else in hc had plans but me, even if it was just to a hotel room to bridge or what. felt pretty loser abt going home, but it was way to late to go clubbing. pretty wasted though, cos i think my mum was expecting me to go clubbin (and most prob was willing to let me go).. but anyway i was dead tired, my head hurt from hair being pinned up too tightly, my face had only abt 6 layers of gunk on it, and i was coughing all over the place. oh and did i mention my period? oh well anyway. was in a sucky mood then, and in a no better one now.. hate being stuck at home with spoilt comp nothing to read and everyone out having fun. even my stupid bro (most prob) went clubbing. this sucks. really really sucks. sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks.

did i mention, i like jay-z's dirtoffyourshoulder to dance to, and jaysean's eyesonyou cos i like the chorus..
Got my eyes on you
And I like what I see

at 10:21 PM * 0 hearts dreamt

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