there is something wrong with the way i'm googling, i'm sure. cos i can't seem to find the nina ricci gold heels online! i just need a picture, not even the price. -_- and no it's not a figment of my imagination, i saw it at on pedder. geez. >=( but anyway nina ricci is so pretty and pastel and girly.. -hearts-
on other notes, miu miu's s/s 2010 has the most delicious colours... so.much.want. the stamped patent leather wallets in EVERY single colour (robin's egg blue to peach), the mini coffers in yummy pastels, and of course the jeweled shoulder bags
Oh my god. If someone bought me clothes from the h&m garden collection, I'll be totally happy! But well no h&m in Singapore and no one overseas to buy it for me, so well..
i know, cbday and xmas are all over. but there is still my bday in LESS THAN 3 MTHS! XD
1) ledec black patent heels from aldo (size 38) 2) canon dslr (eos500d?) 3) lomo diana camera - with fisheye lens, normal flash and tons of film =D 4) gocco set 5) crafting tools - art knifes, scrapbooking paper, rubber stamps, scrapbooking classes, tons of time =XT 6) miu miu patent pink bow card holder (this pic but in bright pink instead) or snakeskin card holder 7) books on corporate strategy/management strategy (gotta force myself to start man) 8) bsb's new album - this is us 9) swarovski heart rosaline pendant 10) books - here for the full book list 11) proenza schouler ps1 medium satchel in brown 12) or the ASOS satchel in nude (an obvious ripoff of the above =p) 13) christian louboutin classic platform pumps 14) ASOS floral bowler bag 15) two-finger rings like this 16) Ck bold watch in brown strap 17) Sunnies
it's been a long time. stuff i really have to do in the next few days to get my life back into shape:
1) study damn JLPT till my brains fall out in pieces from my ears 2) external hdd - change 3) iphone earphones - get it fixed 4) pedicure 5) haircut 6) order clothes from dangdang and taobao and ninewest before it's too late 7) start making xmas and bday cards 8) upload pics 9) cancel citi/uob/dbs cards 10) ocbc savings account 11) pay credit card bills 12) change PINs of cards 13) UOB interest waiver 14) singtel - subscription waiver 15) outing with yh/hl/simon/estee/ah min 16) ARGHHHHHH WHY STILL SO MANY THINGS TO DO?! 17) watch 2012/fantastic mr fox 18) xmas list 19) plan hk trip
it's been a long while since i've posted... taking a helluva long break this weekedn instead of studying cos i'm SIIIIIIICK again -_- I HATE FALLING SICK DURING EXAM PERIOD.
been having sleeping problems - can't fall asleep, keep having weird dreams (which tire me out like anything cos i rarely dream) and waking up about 12910247 times every night. mentally too highly strung or something? been feeling nervous about nothing all times of the day (which accounts for the frequent peeing and heart pounding).. but i don't know why!! it's definitely not cos of the exams, that's for sure.
1) a year's worth of dance classes 2)new hp - HTC touch HD or touch diamond 2 3) kanjani∞ stuff: - 47 tour dvd (limited or normal version) - photobooks - E! Honma? Bikkuri! Micchaku document tour photobook - any of their dvds or cds (usually ltd ed) with extra dvds bundled 4) heels: - THIS PAIR OF ALDO HEELS in brown (i'm size 37) - this pair from ASOS (for those studying in uk HINT HINT) in black (i'm uk 4 =D) 5) new 2.5" 320GIG external hard disk 6) bose 2.1 speakers 7) shunji matsuo haircut 8) nintendo wii 9) nintendo ds 10) airfare to germany and back XD 11) (probably the only affordable thing on this list) a whole armful of gold/white/black bangles and bracelets XD 12) books! - the northern lights books by philip pullman - glen duncan books - nick hornby's high fidelity (lent someone my lovely copy and the idiot didn't return it >.<) - neil gaiman's fragile things - aldous huxley's brave new world - george orwell's 1884 13) k8 puzzle RE cd XD here 14) clothes to indulge my fat self before i lose weight and start fitting into all my old clothes - toga dress - open back dress - low-cut top 15) high top converse in an in-ur-face colour / gold converse sneakers
i don't understand why, but maybe i was never meant to. i just wonder why it was so sudden. i don't even know when it started, but everytime i think i've numbed myself to it, everytime i think i'm over this, i'll see something that reminds me of the pain. although i pretend that i don't care, and that it doesn't matter to me, the truth is that it does matter. bad habit - that i care too much.
and that is why the moral of the story is to not browse around facebook. chancing upon pictures without me and realising how many occasions there were just makes the wound deeper.
on the matter of fb-spying, in the past few days that i've been emo-ing, i've been checking fbs randomly out of a lack of better things to do. i kind of understand why my brother spies on us on fb so much - it's so easy to find out so much more info about a person on fb. and it's updated info. it's kind of sad how our lives are so public and so far from a personal touch that a person's relationship status change (aka breakup) is discovered on fb.
so i've decided to make my profile and pictures friends-only (not as if it will keep my brother away -_- but better than nothing).. i believe my private life is worth more than that. and hey, i like checking out the fbs of others, but i'm not planning to give others that satisfaction.
i never seem to learn. i'm sure i've written a post a year ago or so about not fb/friendster browsing cos looking at all the hot girls' photos make me feel so much more unhappy about how i look. recently i've kind of given up on feeling sad about how much weight i've put on and how crap i look in photos, and started feeling good about (or resigned to) how i look.. that i don't need the satisfaction from feeling attractive to people in general (measured by how many guys check me out, how many people dance with me, whatever). but all that fb surfing + emo-ing due to cramps and emo song playing has made me feel lousy again.
i think i've been feeling low generally recently that i've stopped bothering about anything.. hence the semi-numbness. or maybe it's due to my conscious effort at blocking out the above-mentioned pain that i can't feel like i bother abt anything anymore. including school.
about 1/2 hour ago, after chancing on the photos that reminded me abt the sad things, and reading di's status message, i felt like crying cos i missed DDC. but that feeling passed (was blocked?) swiftly.
even watching yoko do stupid things doesn't make me laugh.
i feel like i've been floating through the past few months. i'm stuck somewhere where everything i feel is muted. it feels like DDC have been away for months, but it's only been a few days. nothing really hits home anywhere. have i left my heart somewhere else? for example, i miss having c and the twins around, but it's not an ache, it's more like i know it rather than i feel it. everything else that is happening feels the same. CNY is here, i know it in my head, yet it's impossible to feel anything. excitement, thrill, happiness, aches, misery. they don't seem to exist anymore.
well the intention of starting this was 1) i was too bored to sleep, and 2) more stuff after thinking abt the random 25 note on facebook. (but actually i'm quite sleepy now hehe)
recently, more and more people have commented that i have a very dao face. i have no idea why though.. according to et, my face is very scary when i don't smile.. which is most of the time. maybe cos i look at things/people very intently (et says i stare at pple all the time) and i don't really blink. haha! and yh thinks my scared face is very dao. =p i dunno, i'm always worried abt how i look, when i walk i have to concentrate on not falling down, etc. i'm usually never at ease, cos i'm so conscious and scared. that's why my face looks very closed and thus dao? i have no idea man..
and talking about never being at ease and always conscious, i think i really hate getting attention. -_- unless i'm VERY sure that it's friendly attention. i hate answering or asking questions in class (simon knows cos gawd how many times have i refused to offer answers in class and made him say it for me =p) cos i think people will laugh at my qns/answers and confirm their suspicions that i'm a bimbo. and today, when i was walking to and around cine waiting for yj to arrive, i was super scared cos people were looking at me.. it might have been normal glances, but it totally freaked me out. I HATE GETTING ATTENTION! argh. it scares the hell out of me. same for in clubs, i hate making eye contact with people so i keep them closed and fixed on DYDC.. strangers, please don't come up to me and talk to me. i'll probably hyperventilate and die. haha!
somehow, i can kinda understand what c feels about seth now. a little, somehow.
talking to my "baby" only, one of the rare times. and i feel very.. melancholic? it's a deeper feeling than just "sad". he's grown up too fast, too early, and now he's changed. jaded, fatalistic, different. and cos he's so used to getting so much so easily, it's tinted the way he looks at things, at what's happened to him in his life. and the saddest thing is that people who are jaded are the ones who are the most resistant towards being convinced otherwise.
and now that i'm listening to him tell me about his gf, it seems like he's attracted to her cos she's how he used to be. dreamy, innocent, simple. i don't know if he realises that.
i wish i could protect him from the world, to let him be 19 and enjoy being 19, and not this seemingly 30something caught in his 19 year old body. i wish i could let him see the wonder in the world, that there are more things in store in life to be seen, and that he hasn't finished seeing the sights of life yet.
while i talk to him, i feel the heartache that my baby has flown high, and has been able to see the sad truths about life from that height, when he didn't have to. and he's got his head down, so all he can focus is all that ugliness, when there is so much beauty around and above him.
dance today was pretty fun, in a torturous way. i have absolutely no hand-eye-feet-hand-body-mind coordination whatsoever.. i wasn't tired after the lesson cos i barely moved! all i did was just stand and and gape. "huh?" =_= when will i be able to dance properly?
clubbing night before last was fantastic! the music was more chinablack than phuture, strong drinks, seats to rest at, friends on a high and were so fun! =D who cares that no guys bother to dance with me, or that my gastric came back with a vengeance yday? =D i love the music at butter. love love love love it =D had fun dancing with farrah, and the girls that we picked up along the way (i think the twins have some kind of mysterious appeal =X) were all high too =X more clubbing next week, maybe? =D
cbday 2008 (held in 2009, i know -_-) was a superb blast! it was really tiring to do the photobookcard for them, but i'm glad i made the effort! =D so happy that they like the presents, and i LOVE MY PRESENTS! i can't choose cos the 3 presents were all so different and i love them in different ways =D food at tanglin club was delicious althought the service was pretty much crap -_- and the CRAZY amounts of photos we took in the toilet!! =D think i look fat in the pictures, but whatever, i think i'm so used to looking fat and ugly that i can't be bothered anymore. HAHA! =D fashion bar was fun if a little empty, love the booth seats and the cushions, and the drinks were cheap and good. now THAT'S a place with GREAT service, and i was more than happy to pay the 10% service charge. (damn didn't get yj drunk =X)
tmr's the celebration for my 2nd anniversary of et and i =D i have no idea what we're doing but i'm really excited!!! i'm so glad that he's got plans and i don't have to think, just follow. and the BESTEST part?! i can bring all the shoes i want so that i can change shoes if i regret them halfway through the day =D no need to run up and down the stairs (like i do everyday to change shoes 5 secs after leaving the house (now you guys know why i'm always late =X)) i love having the chance to be lazy =D
they're super slapstick band which has the WEIRDEST but cutest =X dance moves ever -_- can see them having act-cute poses XD i think they're really cute!!!!!!!! XD
osaka rainy blues
erm.. can't really see yuu so it's ok. sharp-eyed ones, he's the one with the cross-striped/plaid(??) collar. but this is a nice song =D
finished yukan club over the past 2 days while being stuck at home.. ARGH I WANT MORE YUKAN CLUB. amazing as it sounds. it's a super slapstick comedy which is muchly fulfilling when mucus clogs up the brain. of course, seishiro and noriko are my favourite character.. and JIN is in it too! *-* jin jin jin jin jin jin jin jin jin jin~
okay anyway.. the end of yukan club = no more fangirl-squealing over jin =X so rabid kattun fangirl in me woke up and started hunting down more MOAR kat-tun stuff.. which led to the 2gb or so worth of their newest PVs, live performance clips and so on =D (of course, wallpapers too =X)
and cos seishiro's played by yokoyama yuu from kanjani8 (which i've long heard about), i decided to check them out too.. esp since their wiki page made them out to be pretty cool.
... which led to my stalking of youtube for ctkt (cartoon kattun) and kanjani8 clips instead of sleeping off my flu -_- unfortch, kanjani8 doesn't have much videos.. =(
i need more fangirling. might rewatch proposal daisakusen (yamapi -secretsqueal =X-!) or maybe make myself watch one pound..
ADD: omg. i think yokoyama yuu is SOOOOOOOOO cute *-* cutecutecute
xmas is over, but nevertheless, let me post what i found online that i'm considering on getting (the others that were too unaffordable have been stored as pictures for future reference =X)
it helps that the pound is cheaper now =D
kookai top - i like kookai stuff but i think they've disappeared from singapore =(
I LOVE THIS LAYOUT SO MUCH!!! AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *huge grin*
i'm so happy this is FINALLY up and running properly. the photoediting/layoutting was really quick (cos i did the hues a long time ago), but the DAMNED publishing took EONS (and the stupid bg was wonky).
planning for a reno layout, MAYBE another sdc (love the art so much *-*), a few arty farty ones in the future (or maybe just for other blogs =)
What is says about you: You are a tranquil person. You appreciate friends who get along with one another. You share hobbies with friends and like trying to fit into their routines.
SIGH i dropped my laptop today! from a chest level ledge (chest level when i was on 3 inch wedge heels), my lappy SMASHED onto the ground (no actually part of it landed on my foot =( i hope it lessened the impact although my toes HURT -_-) and the battery fell out! -cries- it's only the second time in more than 2 years ~ 26 months that i've dropped my laptop =( (which is amazing considering how prone i am to dropping things e.g. my poor phone -_-) now there's a small dent on the corner of my battery, and a small flake chipped off the side. ARGH SO ANGRY =(
on another note.. i think i'm gonna fail my jlpt 4 -sigh- i didn't realise it's so difficult =( i really hope i remember my vocab, that i guess well enough, and that the listening wouldn't be too difficult.. otherwise, it's byebye $30+ =(
have been meeting yj and c regularly, and am happy about it! =D i'm so glad official exams are over (yes, jlpt's considered unofficial) and i can spend time fangirling over hetalia with yj, lunch/dinner/hanging out with yj and c =D was looking at our pics on di's fb album, and was reminiscing abt all the fun things we did last year =D IWANNAGOTOTHEZOO! =D
was thinking that yes, i really do have very few close friends. but these people that i consider my real friends (the others are acquaintances or just friends, but not.. really close to the heart. i guess that is why, when the whole issue happened (yh and hl, u guys know what i'm talking abt..), i was so hurt. i used to not want anyone close enough to hurt me, and that's why i put up barriers around myself - arm's length distance is safer. but now, i think i'm slowly letting people into my heart.. with the hope that they will not end up hurting me.
ANYWAY.. i just can't wait for di to be back! then we'll all be together .. at least until c leaves =( but right now, there's still cbday/zoo/MEGA SHOPPING SPREE/dressupparty/etcetcetc to look forward to! =D =D =D
just a short rant on the hanakimi sp that i just finished (i really should be sleep -_-)
oh my GAWD THEIR HAIR! it's so FRICKING HIDEOUS! what's with that stupidly UGLY haircut of oguri shun?!?!? i almost died. -_-
julia was a really irritating character.. the only thing good abt her was her clothes (and how she looks good in it) -_- and they really killed kagurazaka's character (he's turned gay??? -_-) which was so disappointing, since he was one of my favourite characters in the manga =(
and of cos, as USUAL~ mizushima hiro (namba sempai) was cool underneath all that -_-ness =D i think he's cool!!! =D and maki-chan is SO SO SO CUTE~~~~~~~~
ok to the story proper- the plot was kinda crappy, since they totally changed the whole julia arc. okay maybe it would have been too expensive for them to film in hokkaido, but there are some parts that the sp could have followed the manga better. and there wasn't any animosity between nakatsu and julia at all -_- besides having the whole story changed, the plot was also to hammy. GAWD what's with the afro 'do and the tutus?!? and the girls in bikinis at the school event??? it's really stupid to the point of WTF, instead of being funny?
and they didn't do the california trip at all! ok given how they changed the ending of the main series, it would've been difficult to put in the california trip. but STILL! argh.
no no no. i really still can't get over oguri shun's shit hair. omg. >.< that's the worst part of the sp -_- like what i smsed yj - i feel like i died and went to hell, and my eyes were being tortured (by his shit hair) as punishment for my sins -_-
+ layout information picture used is a scan from shinshi doumei cross, cleaned up, hued and filtered. falling leaves are from maple leaf brush. all standard use photoshop. fonts used - tahoma, porcelain, velvet.
titles were just randomly thought up from the spot due to the lack of lyrics.
